Making Accommodations for Yourself – Neurodivergent Sensory Kits
Many neurodivergent people spend years being told to push through their own discomfort, to just “calm down” or “stop being dramatic.” You may have questioned if you are “too sensitive” or made self-critical judgments that you should be able to handle more than you can. Over time, this can make it harder to learn about and recognize our body’s sensory needs.
For many Autistic, ADHDers, AuDHD, and people with sensory processing differences, sensory input can have a major impact on emotional regulation, focus, energy, communication, and daily functioning.
What Are Meltdowns and Shutdowns?
When sensory, emotional, cognitive, or social demands exceed someone’s capacity to cope, the body may respond with a meltdown, shutdown, or both. A meltdown or shutdown is not a tantrum or somebody being obstinate or rude, they are nervous system responses to being overwhelmed.
A meltdown may look like crying, sobbing, yelling, a panic attack, needing to leave immediately, or feeling unable to control what is happening internally. For some people, it may feel like their body has hit a breaking point.
A shutdown may look like going quiet, withdrawing, feeling frozen, dissociating, struggling to make decisions, feeling emotionally numb, or being unable to communicate. A person may look calm from the outside while internally feeling overwhelmed, disconnected, or unable to speak.
Overwhelm can be caused by so many different external sensory inputs (lights, noise, crowds, textures, smells, visual clutter, etc) or internal experiences (rumination, anxiety, hunger, pain, exhaustion, emotional distress, trauma reminders. etc). If you are late-diagnosed, self-diagnosed, exploring neurodivergence, or just beginning to understand your sensory needs, you may be realizing that experiences you previously called “panic,” “overreacting,” “shutting down,” “breaking down,” or “being too sensitive” may have been sensory overwhelm, meltdown, shutdown, burnout, or a mix of several experiences. Learning more about your own senses, your sensory triggers, and sensory needs can be very helpful with supporting yourself in moments when overwhelm occurs.
What are Senses?
Our senses help our body gather information from both the world around us and from within ourselves. Our nervous system and brain interpret this sensory information to help us understand where we are, what is happening, what feels safe or unsafe, and what our body may need in that moment. When we talk about the senses, we usually think of sound, sight, smell, taste, and touch. Our senses can also include interoception (awareness of our internal body cues), proprioception (body awareness), and vestibular (movement/balance). Sensory experiences can feel very different from person to person. Something that feels neutral or pleasant to one person may feel distracting, painful, irritating, or completely overwhelming to someone else. For example, some people become overwhelmed by bright lights, background noise, clothing textures, strong smells, hunger, pain, or temperature changes.
For some neurodivergent people, sensory experiences can also build up over time and lead to significant discomfort and overwhelm. One sound, one smell, or one social interaction may not feel like “too much” on its own, but if we look at the sensory experience in context (after a long day of masking, decision-making, transitions, social expectations, hunger, stress, or rumination) the nervous system and brain might be more vulnerable to becoming overwhelmed by a sensory experience.
How do I Learn More About my Senses?
Dr. Neff’s Sensory Resource Hub from Neurodivergent Insights includes information about sensory experiences, sensory regulation, sensory triggers, sensory soothing, and more:
https://neurodivergentinsights.com/sensory-hub/
This is a helpful resource to learn more about your own sensory experiences and explore what types of support may be useful for you!
Building a Sensory Kit
A sensory kit is a collection of items, tools, and supports that help your body and brain move through overwhelm with more safety, comfort, and agency. A sensory kit can help during sensory overload, anxiety, emotional overwhelm, verbal shutdown, meltdown, emotional shutdown, or moments when you feel disconnected from your body. It can also be used preventively, before you reach a crisis point. You’re not making yourself easier for other people to tolerate, you’re helping your body feel safer and more supported. Your sensory kit should be based on your own needs! To figure out what to include, you can ask yourself questions such as:
What sensory experiences tend to overwhelm me, and which tend to soothe me?
What environments usually drain me?
Do I need less sensory input, more specific input, or a different kind of input?
What makes things worse when I am overwhelmed?
Your Sensory Kit can change as you learn more about yourself. What helps at home may be different from what helps at school, work, the store, or social events. Accessibility matters. A sensory kit is most helpful when you can reach it before or during overwhelm. If it is buried in a closet, stored across the house, or too complicated to use, it may not be available when you need it most. If you need a visual example, searching for sensory kits, Autistic meltdown kits, shutdown kits, or neurodivergent sensory kits on social media may give you ideas. Many Autistic and neurodivergent people share examples of kits they have created for themselves.
Note: A sensory kit is not a replacement for therapy, medical care, or crisis support. It is one tool that may help you better understand and accommodate your sensory needs, and you can absolutely explore this further in sessions with your therapist or other providers.
1.) Choose a Container
This could be a small toolbox, backpack, tote bag, pouch, fanny pack, basket, drawer, or a bedside container. You can organize it however you want (clear sections or labeled pouches can work but if that feels like too much organization a simple bag of useful items is fine, too) and make it easy to access when you are overwhelmed.
You could also consider making more than one version of your kit (example one for home, travel, or different settings).
2.) Choose What Items you Want in Your Kit
There is no universal sensory kit that works for everyone. A helpful starting point is to think about what kinds of sensory input tend to overwhelm you and what kinds of sensory input tend to soothe, ground, or help with regulation. Some possible ideas could include:
Touch/Tactile
Fidget toys
Textured items
Soft fabric or a small comfort object
Needoh or other squishy items with different levels of resistance
Ono roller or similar hand tools
Sensory mats
‘Little ouchies’ or other spiky/acupressure-style items
Sound
Noise-dampening earplugs
Loop earplugs
Noise-canceling headphones
Earbuds
Fidget items that make a variety of different sounds
Creating a music playlist (can makes different ones for calming, grounding, crying, walking, or transitioning out of shutdown)
Smell
Scented lotion
Essential oil roller
A familiar perfume or comforting scent
Strong smells (like citrus, mint, pine) or soothing smells (vanilla, lavender, nutmeg)
Taste
Sour candy
Mints
Gum
Chewy foods
Crunchy foods
A cold or warm drink
Chewelry or safe chew tools
Sight
Sunglasses
Hat or visor
Eye mask
Glitter wand
Liquid motion timer
Small visual stim toy
Calming videos saved on your phone
Changing the lighting of the room you’re in (bright vs dim)
A small familiar object to look at
Movement and Pressure
Weighted blanket, weighted lap pad, or weighted stuffed animal
Resistance band
Cards with reminders for: stretching, wall pushes, hand squeezes, rocking, or walking
Cognitive Distraction and Focus Tools
Small puzzle games
Coloring supplies
Journal
Favorite book
Comfort phrases written in your phone’s Note App
Word games
Phone games
Reading or writing materials
Mindfulness cards
Communication Supports for Verbal Shutdown
When someone is overwhelmed or in verbal shutdown, speaking may become difficult or impossible. Communication supports can reduce the pressure to speak. These tools can be especially helpful if you live with a partner, family member, roommate, or caregiver who may not automatically understand what is happening during shutdown.
You might include in your sensory kit copies of:
Emotion wheel
Emotion cards
Basic needs statements written on cards on a keyring (ex. I need water, I need food, I need quiet, I need to leave, I need help, I need to be alone, etc)
Notes app messages prepared in advance to show/share with yourself or others
A text template for trusted people
A card that explains what helps and what does not help (ex. communication card might say: “I am overwhelmed and having trouble speaking. I am not ignoring you. Please give me quiet, space, and time.”)
In Conclusion
Building a sensory kit can be a small but meaningful way to practice accommodating yourself instead of criticizing yourself for having needs. It gives you a way to prepare for moments of overwhelm with more self-compassion, agency, and understanding.